Therapy For Hearts & Minds

Category: self help

Always Align Your Career With Your Values

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I know too many people that are just plain unhappy in their careers working in jobs they despise just to pay the bills. If you are one of them then read on. The main reason people feel unhappy at work is due to how it makes them feel. Generally speaking, we feel good when we do what feels right. What feels right is often influenced by our own core beliefs and values.

So the basic formula in achieving job satisfaction is to ensure the work itself is in line with your values. Supportive staff and managers are of course important as well. I have personally been in jobs that clash with my values and have suffered the consequences.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of job satisfaction on the psyche. After all, we spend most of our lives at work so if we are unhappy in our jobs then we are unhappy most of the time. This can lead to anxiety, low mood, depression, and a whole plethora of mental and physical ailments long term.

Whether we like to admit it or not work affects every area of our lives and more often than not we take it home with us as well. Particularly now with the pandemic working from home has blurred the lines of work and home even further.

Our personalities, life experiences, and ambitions can all be connected through our choice of career. For example, we are not all cut out to be salespeople. For some, the thrill of closing a deal and the banter of selling to customers comes naturally. Knowing who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for help when choosing a job that aligns with your values. So before you evaluate your current job, start a new one or go back into studies to retrain, you have to be honest with yourself about your goals and values.


Brainstorming Ideas

It helps to brainstorm at this stage so write a list of your values down on paper. Then list the types of professions and industries you’re attracted to, what salary you would need to live comfortably, and what your professional strengths and weaknesses are. It also helps to list what you do not want and what you are averse to in respect of work ethics and values. For example are you a people person and enjoy face-to-face direct contact or do you prefer working behind the scenes? What roles lend themselves to your preferred way of working? What transferable skills and experience do you have that might fit across the roles you are considering?

  • If you are at a crossroads in your career it might help to ask yourself these questions:
  • How do I feel about my career right now? Am I feeling fulfilled or frustrated?
  • What are the deal breakers?
  • What positions or companies have I enjoyed working in so far?
  • What roles or companies do I want to avoid?
  • What values am I looking for in a job/company?
  • What professional interests do I have?
  • Do I need to retrain and return to studies or is my skills set enough to switch jobs imminently?
  • Where do I see myself in five years?

Next Steps

Having completed the above steps you are ready to seek out a role that suits you and start making applications. However, it is important that you research the companies you apply to. You need to know each company’s values, mission, and background before you get to the interview stage otherwise you will be setting yourself up to fail. Be realistic in your approach and acknowledge that you’ll probably never agree with every aspect of a company but there are some things to consider:

  • Is the companies mission and values statement in line with your way of being
  • What products or services does the company sell?
  • Who are the company’s clients?
  • Do you respect what they stand for?
  • Read the annual report from the last two years (if available) to see how the company has performed and recognize any pitfalls/positives / negatives about their way of working.
  • Can you buy into their way of working?

Be Selective 

To ensure you find the right personal and professional alignment you’re looking for, you have to filter through and be selective on the jobs you apply for. Remember all your research and use that to make an informed decision. At this stage, it could help to list the “pros and cons” of each role you are considering applying for. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is it about the role that makes you want to apply- is it just the salary, or the role itself?
  • Does the role excite you?
  • What worries do you have about this offer
  • Do you feel this role will offer you the opportunity for professional growth?

Trust Your Gut

I was once told by a high court judge whilst representing a family in court, that our gut instincts are the years of experience and knowledge accumulated within our psyche. They offer unique insights that help to inform our decision-making process internally. As such we inherently know what is right or wrong for us based on our own life experiences so far. This intuition doesn’t mean that we’ll automatically know exactly what to do next -but offers us guidance and options to explore based on how we are feeling. It helps to trust our instincts and assess what is in front of us. It might be worth trying to visualize yourself working within the company, how does it feel? Do you think you can get along with the staff there? Do you feel confident with the job specification and functions? Can you see yourself as part of that particular company?

Money Isn’t Everything

It can be tempting to take the highest paid role but if job satisfaction is missing and the role goes against your values you may find yourself wanting to change jobs again. Even though it might seem obvious to choose the role that offers more money, remember your goals, your values, and your gut feeling about it all. It’s not all about the money.

 

Author Kamarun Kalam- Article also published in Illumination Publication via Medium.com

Publications

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A warm welcome to all my readers, and my past, present and future clients.

The ‘I’ In Me: “Who Am I Anyway?” by Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.

Learn more: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08DKZLQYW/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_3hviFbZPSAXBJ

Paperback link uk- The ‘I’ In Me “Who Am I Anyway? by Amazon

Learn more: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08DBYPZ6R/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_ilviFb54TGQZC

Audiobook Link http://The ‘I’ in Me: “Who Am I Anyway?” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08PKQFY1P/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_eBldGbFRQYMQE

Author page Kamarun Kalam

Ebook Preview Link – https://amzn.eu/5euAhQc

                      

Medium Articles

About Me – Introducing Kam –https://link.medium.com/tuD0dx3cidb

Being A Decent Human Being -Poetry from the heart. https://link.medium.com/1AGsHHApwdb

Diary of Mr Anonymous In Therapy-https://link.medium.com/GqzZ4V1bidb

Hard Times- Poem https://link.medium.com/n224ExYpwdb

The Buzz Of First Dates- Poetry – https://link.medium.com/Vh0rtb4bidb

The Best Advice Ever Given-https://link.medium.com/zGwrldacidb

Future Self Letter-https://link.medium.com/mNAR5Wccidb

Haiku After Dark-https://link.medium.com/rtAL7ofcidb

5 Truths In Life-https://link.medium.com/IYXaOHjcidb

Infinite Knowledge-Haiku – https://link.medium.com/vQdX39qcidb

Is There Life After Death? –https://link.medium.com/8dcjm2tcidb

Patience (Sabr) –https://link.medium.com/Tv5Tx3wcidb

Radical Acceptance- https://link.medium.com/QTlfh3zcidb

Welcome 2021- https://link.medium.com/VBAKuqDcidb

Everybody Hurts – https://link.medium.com/efP4pQFcidb

What Is- Soulful Poetry-https://link.medium.com/3GDmv1Icidb

The Trouble With Letting Go Is –https://link.medium.com/aTzcBqMcidb

Old Habits Die Hard – https://link.medium.com/I78YIcPcidb

The Joys of Yesteryear –https://link.medium.com/su1f10Rcidb

Dear Me- https://link.medium.com/l26DgsUcidb

Relationship Tips For When Children Are Born-https://link.medium.com/kSfyAOWcidb

Random Acts Of Kindness- https://link.medium.com/sjIBKZ0cidb

Conquering The Assassin Within- https://link.medium.com/UkAPF2odidb

Is Online Dating Safe? – https://link.medium.com/lJ5NOGrdidb

Brene Browns Pearls of Wisdom on Being Vulnerable- https://link.medium.com/UDAhcbvdidb

Yes You Can! – https://link.medium.com/dxq5vbzdidb

Beat The Winter Blues – https://link.medium.com/MheNluBdidb

Personal Power – https://link.medium.com/tXlHvCEdidb

Diseases Of The Heart – https://link.medium.com/kDHq8gHdidb

The I In Me- https://link.medium.com/VTOXGAJdidb

It’s The Unsaid Stuff That Haunts Us The Most- https://link.medium.com/CkmDbXLdidb

Look Inside Yourself- https://link.medium.com/WPBDETOdidb

Life..

What is…

 
What Is…

What is death but the absence of life.

What is a body without a soul?

What is the sky without the sun?

What is a branch without a tree?

What is the day without the night?

Everything is connected but often we don’t see.

The beauty of having opposites to the contrary.

We live our lives in separate ways, but still believe in community.

What are we without each other?

But a group of people needing lovers.

What is light without the shadow?

But a false view of reality.

For most of us it seems to be- we know things by their opposites.

If this is truly so… then there is a truth that we must face.

Only through the darkness can we find our own light.

———————-

Soulful poetry published on Medium by Kamarun Kalam -click the link below:

https://link.medium.com/Dwr2I8s0ocb

Patience & Gratitude

Being Patient and Grateful improves mental health

Its not often we stop to reflect on our blessings and show gratitude. As a species we have evolved into very busy beings, and with such little time for contemplation we have lost patience with ourselves and others. I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to stop, and just be.

Seriously just sit for a minute -don’t do anything and try to think about one thing you are grateful for in your life. Got it? Ok now think about one thing you could do for someone else that would make them happy. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture it could be a smile, running an errand or visiting for a chat.

The idea is that you appreciate what you do have instead of focussing on what you don’t have.  Also to carry out an act of service for another person encourages connection, love and warmth.

We are all in need of a bit of love, care and belonging to feel human. Accepting who we are and being accepting of others is key to a more satisfying life. Nobody is perfect but we can all be our own kind of normal, and thats good enough. 🤗

So what are you waiting for? Start practising being more patient and grateful and watch how your mood and life improves.😃

If you need help to explore your life and its highs and lows feel free to contact me for some Counselling sessions in the Birmingham area.

Love Kam.

Anxiety

anxiety

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at freedigitalphotos.net

Everyday life can become so stressful that even the slightest things can set us off in a spin. Anxiety and depression have been listed as the two most common mental health problems faced by everyone at some point in their lives. Knowing this, what can we do to help ourselves and when is it right to seek help from our GP’s and seek out counselling?

The answer to these questions will differ from one person to the next because we are all unique and have different ways of coping with life. As a general rule most people visit their doctors in the first instance to discuss symptoms which can lead to taking prescribed medication like anti-depressants. Sometimes counselling is suggested but more often than not the first course of action is medication. Counselling can be sought via the NHS or privately.

In order to understand what causes us anxiety it is important to know the signs, symptoms and what we can do to alleviate personal stress levels and manage. According to MIND, the National Mental Health Charity the following are some common signs of anxiety:

  • Losing interest in activities and tasks that were previously enjoyed
  • Poor performance at work
  • Feeling tense, uncertain and fearful of things
  • Worries affect sleep, appetite and ability to concentrate
  • Feeling powerless, out of control or overwhelmed by emotions
  • Having panic attacks
  • Feeling on edge, irritable and unable to relax
  • Seeking reassurances from others, not trusting oneself

To cope with these feelings individuals may turn to vices such as smoking, drinking, or misusing drugs. Holding on in failing relationships and feeling unable to hold down a job. for some people anxiety can be so severe it takes over their lives causing frequent panic attacks. They may withdraw from society, develop other phobias, or begin having obsessive compulsive thoughts or behaviours like exsessive cleaning.

How can I help myself?

Facing your anxieties and addressing why you feel this way is the start of making a difference, looking at the reasons behind what led you to feeling this way and unpicking that fear and insecurity. The following are some ways of helping manage symptoms yourself:

  • Relaxation and mindfulness techniques of breathing exercises. Mindfulness CD’s can be purchased to listen to and use when feeling stressed. Attend a class on Yoga, relaxation or mindfulness and learn about controlled breathing, deep breathes from the stomach in through the nose and out through the mouth.
  • Assertiveness training can help, maybe start a dancing, singing or drama class to encourage more social interaction and learn how to feel more confident, look up local classess in your area.
  • Takes advantage of compimentary therapies such as massage, acupuncture, reflexology, herbalism and hypnotherapy. There are various modes of alternative therapies which can help to relax and stimulate you. Even simple things like lavender oils in the bath or drinking chamomile tea can act as a soothing experience.
  • Use your freinds and family for support, make that call, go for a coffee and a chat and ask for what you need.
  • Maintain a healthy lifestyle, drink plenty of water, go for a jog or run, or even the gym where you can also use the sauna and steam room. Eat well, plenty of fruits and vegetables and try to cook from fresh avoiding packaged and processed foods where possible. Try to avoid stimulants like coffee, cigarettes and alcohol as these will impact on your ability to relax and may reduce the quality of your sleep.
  • It is advisable to seek medical attention and visit your GP if symptoms persist long term as they may be able to support you with prescribed anti-depressants and referrals for counselling.

If you are feeling anxious and need further information and support the following are organisations that can help:

  • No Panic: 0800 138 8889 nopanic.org.uk
  • MIND infoline: 0300 123 3393 info@mind.org.uk
  • Anxiety UK: 08444 775 774 anxietyuk.org.uk
  • Samaritans 08457 909090 samaritans.org
  • British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy: (BACP) 01455 883 300 itsgoodtotalk.org.uk