Therapy For Hearts & Minds

Category: social and emotional well being

Always Align Your Career With Your Values

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I know too many people that are just plain unhappy in their careers working in jobs they despise just to pay the bills. If you are one of them then read on. The main reason people feel unhappy at work is due to how it makes them feel. Generally speaking, we feel good when we do what feels right. What feels right is often influenced by our own core beliefs and values.

So the basic formula in achieving job satisfaction is to ensure the work itself is in line with your values. Supportive staff and managers are of course important as well. I have personally been in jobs that clash with my values and have suffered the consequences.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of job satisfaction on the psyche. After all, we spend most of our lives at work so if we are unhappy in our jobs then we are unhappy most of the time. This can lead to anxiety, low mood, depression, and a whole plethora of mental and physical ailments long term.

Whether we like to admit it or not work affects every area of our lives and more often than not we take it home with us as well. Particularly now with the pandemic working from home has blurred the lines of work and home even further.

Our personalities, life experiences, and ambitions can all be connected through our choice of career. For example, we are not all cut out to be salespeople. For some, the thrill of closing a deal and the banter of selling to customers comes naturally. Knowing who you are, what you believe in, and what you stand for help when choosing a job that aligns with your values. So before you evaluate your current job, start a new one or go back into studies to retrain, you have to be honest with yourself about your goals and values.


Brainstorming Ideas

It helps to brainstorm at this stage so write a list of your values down on paper. Then list the types of professions and industries you’re attracted to, what salary you would need to live comfortably, and what your professional strengths and weaknesses are. It also helps to list what you do not want and what you are averse to in respect of work ethics and values. For example are you a people person and enjoy face-to-face direct contact or do you prefer working behind the scenes? What roles lend themselves to your preferred way of working? What transferable skills and experience do you have that might fit across the roles you are considering?

  • If you are at a crossroads in your career it might help to ask yourself these questions:
  • How do I feel about my career right now? Am I feeling fulfilled or frustrated?
  • What are the deal breakers?
  • What positions or companies have I enjoyed working in so far?
  • What roles or companies do I want to avoid?
  • What values am I looking for in a job/company?
  • What professional interests do I have?
  • Do I need to retrain and return to studies or is my skills set enough to switch jobs imminently?
  • Where do I see myself in five years?

Next Steps

Having completed the above steps you are ready to seek out a role that suits you and start making applications. However, it is important that you research the companies you apply to. You need to know each company’s values, mission, and background before you get to the interview stage otherwise you will be setting yourself up to fail. Be realistic in your approach and acknowledge that you’ll probably never agree with every aspect of a company but there are some things to consider:

  • Is the companies mission and values statement in line with your way of being
  • What products or services does the company sell?
  • Who are the company’s clients?
  • Do you respect what they stand for?
  • Read the annual report from the last two years (if available) to see how the company has performed and recognize any pitfalls/positives / negatives about their way of working.
  • Can you buy into their way of working?

Be Selective 

To ensure you find the right personal and professional alignment you’re looking for, you have to filter through and be selective on the jobs you apply for. Remember all your research and use that to make an informed decision. At this stage, it could help to list the “pros and cons” of each role you are considering applying for. Ask yourself the following questions:

  • What is it about the role that makes you want to apply- is it just the salary, or the role itself?
  • Does the role excite you?
  • What worries do you have about this offer
  • Do you feel this role will offer you the opportunity for professional growth?

Trust Your Gut

I was once told by a high court judge whilst representing a family in court, that our gut instincts are the years of experience and knowledge accumulated within our psyche. They offer unique insights that help to inform our decision-making process internally. As such we inherently know what is right or wrong for us based on our own life experiences so far. This intuition doesn’t mean that we’ll automatically know exactly what to do next -but offers us guidance and options to explore based on how we are feeling. It helps to trust our instincts and assess what is in front of us. It might be worth trying to visualize yourself working within the company, how does it feel? Do you think you can get along with the staff there? Do you feel confident with the job specification and functions? Can you see yourself as part of that particular company?

Money Isn’t Everything

It can be tempting to take the highest paid role but if job satisfaction is missing and the role goes against your values you may find yourself wanting to change jobs again. Even though it might seem obvious to choose the role that offers more money, remember your goals, your values, and your gut feeling about it all. It’s not all about the money.

 

Author Kamarun Kalam- Article also published in Illumination Publication via Medium.com

Publications

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A warm welcome to all my readers, and my past, present and future clients.

The ‘I’ In Me: “Who Am I Anyway?” by Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.

Learn more: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08DKZLQYW/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_3hviFbZPSAXBJ

Paperback link uk- The ‘I’ In Me “Who Am I Anyway? by Amazon

Learn more: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08DBYPZ6R/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_ilviFb54TGQZC

Audiobook Link http://The ‘I’ in Me: “Who Am I Anyway?” https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08PKQFY1P/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_eBldGbFRQYMQE

Author page Kamarun Kalam

Ebook Preview Link – https://amzn.eu/5euAhQc

                      

Medium Articles

About Me – Introducing Kam –https://link.medium.com/tuD0dx3cidb

Being A Decent Human Being -Poetry from the heart. https://link.medium.com/1AGsHHApwdb

Diary of Mr Anonymous In Therapy-https://link.medium.com/GqzZ4V1bidb

Hard Times- Poem https://link.medium.com/n224ExYpwdb

The Buzz Of First Dates- Poetry – https://link.medium.com/Vh0rtb4bidb

The Best Advice Ever Given-https://link.medium.com/zGwrldacidb

Future Self Letter-https://link.medium.com/mNAR5Wccidb

Haiku After Dark-https://link.medium.com/rtAL7ofcidb

5 Truths In Life-https://link.medium.com/IYXaOHjcidb

Infinite Knowledge-Haiku – https://link.medium.com/vQdX39qcidb

Is There Life After Death? –https://link.medium.com/8dcjm2tcidb

Patience (Sabr) –https://link.medium.com/Tv5Tx3wcidb

Radical Acceptance- https://link.medium.com/QTlfh3zcidb

Welcome 2021- https://link.medium.com/VBAKuqDcidb

Everybody Hurts – https://link.medium.com/efP4pQFcidb

What Is- Soulful Poetry-https://link.medium.com/3GDmv1Icidb

The Trouble With Letting Go Is –https://link.medium.com/aTzcBqMcidb

Old Habits Die Hard – https://link.medium.com/I78YIcPcidb

The Joys of Yesteryear –https://link.medium.com/su1f10Rcidb

Dear Me- https://link.medium.com/l26DgsUcidb

Relationship Tips For When Children Are Born-https://link.medium.com/kSfyAOWcidb

Random Acts Of Kindness- https://link.medium.com/sjIBKZ0cidb

Conquering The Assassin Within- https://link.medium.com/UkAPF2odidb

Is Online Dating Safe? – https://link.medium.com/lJ5NOGrdidb

Brene Browns Pearls of Wisdom on Being Vulnerable- https://link.medium.com/UDAhcbvdidb

Yes You Can! – https://link.medium.com/dxq5vbzdidb

Beat The Winter Blues – https://link.medium.com/MheNluBdidb

Personal Power – https://link.medium.com/tXlHvCEdidb

Diseases Of The Heart – https://link.medium.com/kDHq8gHdidb

The I In Me- https://link.medium.com/VTOXGAJdidb

It’s The Unsaid Stuff That Haunts Us The Most- https://link.medium.com/CkmDbXLdidb

Look Inside Yourself- https://link.medium.com/WPBDETOdidb

Life..

What is…

 
What Is…

What is death but the absence of life.

What is a body without a soul?

What is the sky without the sun?

What is a branch without a tree?

What is the day without the night?

Everything is connected but often we don’t see.

The beauty of having opposites to the contrary.

We live our lives in separate ways, but still believe in community.

What are we without each other?

But a group of people needing lovers.

What is light without the shadow?

But a false view of reality.

For most of us it seems to be- we know things by their opposites.

If this is truly so… then there is a truth that we must face.

Only through the darkness can we find our own light.

———————-

Soulful poetry published on Medium by Kamarun Kalam -click the link below:

https://link.medium.com/Dwr2I8s0ocb

Beautiful Quotes

Welcome

When reading quotes our hearts feel moved and inspired, our souls connect with the words written and our minds capture the beautiful imagery within the meanings. Much of this motivates and encourages change within us that empowers us to become the best possible version of ourselves.
To become our true authentic selves.

Hajj the Journey of a Lifetime

https://youtu.be/zEqmeTRApkk

This video says it all- a beautiful and spiritual journey of hearts and souls undertaken by millions of muslims annually.

It was my calling in August 2019 as I undertook the holy pilgrimage. I filmed highlights of my time out there.

Nothing can compare to it. It must be experienced to fully understand the impact it has on hearts.

It certainly affected me in a profound way and has helped me to become a better version of myself in the process.

Patience & Gratitude

Being Patient and Grateful improves mental health

Its not often we stop to reflect on our blessings and show gratitude. As a species we have evolved into very busy beings, and with such little time for contemplation we have lost patience with ourselves and others. I would like to take this opportunity to invite you to stop, and just be.

Seriously just sit for a minute -don’t do anything and try to think about one thing you are grateful for in your life. Got it? Ok now think about one thing you could do for someone else that would make them happy. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture it could be a smile, running an errand or visiting for a chat.

The idea is that you appreciate what you do have instead of focussing on what you don’t have.  Also to carry out an act of service for another person encourages connection, love and warmth.

We are all in need of a bit of love, care and belonging to feel human. Accepting who we are and being accepting of others is key to a more satisfying life. Nobody is perfect but we can all be our own kind of normal, and thats good enough. 🤗

So what are you waiting for? Start practising being more patient and grateful and watch how your mood and life improves.😃

If you need help to explore your life and its highs and lows feel free to contact me for some Counselling sessions in the Birmingham area.

Love Kam.

Future Dreams

What do you dream of for your future? Retiring early?

Travelling the world?

Downsizing your home and moving to the countryside or near the sea to live in a cute bungalow?

Have you stopped to consider how your life might look in the future or are you just trudging through each day just getting by?

It’s useful to visualise yourself in the future and see what you want it to look like as you then train your mind, plans, thoughts and actions to meet that desired need. Almost like training your brain to think and act in order to achieve that goal. So what are you waiting for?

Create your own vision board either via scrapbooking images and words about what you want to happen in your life or via a digital slideshow of images and words to reinforce your wishes to the universe and to yourself🤗

 

Me Map

MEMAP2

The above figure is the “Me Map”. It details every aspect of your life and helps you reflect on what is happening in your life right now. It gets you to think about how you are feeling. Getting the right balance in life can be quite difficult and often we struggle. Using the “Me Map” you can begin to unpick what is happening and sort through what is important and how we can achieve a happier more fulfilled life. Sometimes we need to stop, think and reflect before we can make positive changes in our lives. Just like a jigsaw puzzle it helps to take everything apart and put it back together again but in the correct order for you.

Go on, have a go. Think about each aspect of your life right now in this present moment and reflect on what is real, what you want, and how you feel about your life. It may help to write things down as you move through this exercise. It could throw up some surprising revelations, and help you to focus you on whats important to you.